Suffering has come
Posted by Jennifer Beil on Sunday, February 26, 2012
When I was a freshman in college I made a sign for my wall that read, “I want to live my life in such a way that when I tell God, ‘I Love you!’ He replies,’“I know!’” I had such a desire to know God and serve Him in a special way. I remember Dr. Schaap preaching a sermon that year about suffering. He preached about how people who suffer know God more. He is more real to them. He tried to explain that there is just a special connection that conspires when we, His children, suffer. After the message I made another sign and I put it above my bed. I was on the bottom of a set of bunk beds and I stuck the sign in between the spring boards. The sign read, “I want to suffer so I can know You more.” Well God’s timing has proved to be a little bit different than my timing in this situation. When I was in college I was single, independent, and much more willing to sacrifice. Now I am married to the man of my dreams and have three amazing kids. Not single, not even a little independent, and not nearly as willing to sacrifice; however, God has answered my prayer in His time and has allowed suffering to come into my life.
For about 4-5 months I have had an enlarged lymph node on the side of my neck. I have been sick often since having children and I dismissed the problem when an EMT specialist felt the lump and said I had nothing to worry about. Three weeks ago I got strep throat. It was then that I noticed the mass again and it was obviously bigger and harder. Most of you know I am a hypochondriac already so I don’t need too many symptoms to worry like crazy! On Tuesday Brett brought me to go get a sonogram to check it out. The technician measured the mass at about 2.6 centimeters and suggested we get a biopsy. We contacted Dr. Siemer, a doctor on FBMI’s staff. He asked a plethora of questions and instructed us to get a CBC blood test with differentials. The blood test indicated that I do not have an infection. With that information and several other pieces of information regarding the node Dr. Seimer has suggested we go back to America to have more testing done.
Suffering has come! Dr. Schaap was right. God has been abundantly real in my life and I feel like I know Him more. Reading the Bible (especially the Psalms) has been more refreshing than it ever has before. Praying is not a duty but a pleasure and desire. Noticing Him being involved in every area of my life has been overwhelming. The intricate ways he has weaved together the past 3 days of events have been awe provoking. My God is real. He loves ME! He is interested in my life and my emotions.
Here are some ways God has placed His comforting arms around my family just this morning:
We are planning on coming home this week. Still working out some flight details. We are trusting God in this situation for we KNOW He is in control. We covet your prayers. My dad is going to anoint me with oil when we get to the States. We will stay in New Jersey for a day or two so I can see my family, and then head out to California to get some tests done. We love you all and appreciate you holding us up in your prayers since we have been here. We are packing up our things with the concern that we might not ever return. It has been emotionally draining on Brett and I to have to say good-bye to people we have poured our hearts into. Please continue to pray for us. For healing, wisdom, and strength!
Love you all!
Brett, Jennifer, Jackson, and Judson Beil
(written by Jennifer)
For about 4-5 months I have had an enlarged lymph node on the side of my neck. I have been sick often since having children and I dismissed the problem when an EMT specialist felt the lump and said I had nothing to worry about. Three weeks ago I got strep throat. It was then that I noticed the mass again and it was obviously bigger and harder. Most of you know I am a hypochondriac already so I don’t need too many symptoms to worry like crazy! On Tuesday Brett brought me to go get a sonogram to check it out. The technician measured the mass at about 2.6 centimeters and suggested we get a biopsy. We contacted Dr. Siemer, a doctor on FBMI’s staff. He asked a plethora of questions and instructed us to get a CBC blood test with differentials. The blood test indicated that I do not have an infection. With that information and several other pieces of information regarding the node Dr. Seimer has suggested we go back to America to have more testing done.
Suffering has come! Dr. Schaap was right. God has been abundantly real in my life and I feel like I know Him more. Reading the Bible (especially the Psalms) has been more refreshing than it ever has before. Praying is not a duty but a pleasure and desire. Noticing Him being involved in every area of my life has been overwhelming. The intricate ways he has weaved together the past 3 days of events have been awe provoking. My God is real. He loves ME! He is interested in my life and my emotions.
Here are some ways God has placed His comforting arms around my family just this morning:
- Pastor Speer’s message was about suffering and was exactly what Brett and I needed.
- A class member, who Brett married, but has since started drinking and was even put in jail for beating his wife because of his drinking, came back to church THIS MORNING!
- A teenager that I have given my heart to but has somehow gone wayward came back to church THIS MORNING. She hugged my neck, wept on my shoulder, and apologized profusely.
- A faithful lady in our Sunday school class who likes Brett a little TOOO much was NOT There THIS MORNING.=)
- A man and a woman I have been trying to play matchmaker with told me THIS MORNING that they were going to start dating. =)
- Jackson was solemn this morning. I thought it was because he was seeing his mom and dad cry a lot. When I asked him what was wrong he replied back, “I am sad because we are leaving!” That meant the world to me.
We are planning on coming home this week. Still working out some flight details. We are trusting God in this situation for we KNOW He is in control. We covet your prayers. My dad is going to anoint me with oil when we get to the States. We will stay in New Jersey for a day or two so I can see my family, and then head out to California to get some tests done. We love you all and appreciate you holding us up in your prayers since we have been here. We are packing up our things with the concern that we might not ever return. It has been emotionally draining on Brett and I to have to say good-bye to people we have poured our hearts into. Please continue to pray for us. For healing, wisdom, and strength!
Love you all!
Brett, Jennifer, Jackson, and Judson Beil
(written by Jennifer)